Our Self-Care Matters to our Kids by Laneic Lavalle

Lately I have not been sleeping much or well.  Are you laughing yet, since when have we slept well or much since we became Moms??!! I knew I had to start taking better care of myself so I picked a couple of things that had to change and have been busy implementing them.  What can you change in your life to save you 10 minutes here or 5 minutes there?  They really add up!  We must learn as Moms to take care of ourselves!  Laneic Lavlle at Makeit218 shares below just how important self-care is for us and how you can achieve it.  To read more of her work and about self-care, make sure you check out her blog at the link above!

Till next time, keep up the juggle!

Blessings, Eliabeth♥


Our Self-Care Matters to our Kids by Laneic Lavalle

It never fails to astonish me when I think about just how deeply integrated our children’s wellbeing is connected to that of our own. In retrospect makes sense, after all, for most of our children they grew and formed inside of us for 9 months. Even if they didn’t, the amount of influence we have on their beautiful minds and souls in undeniably strong.

What an awesome and overwhelming responsibility.

Thinking about how my feelings, my behavior, and my state of mind is so intricately wrapped up with my son strengthens my resolve for self-care and reaffirms that ultimately, I’m bettering his experience when I’m feeling centered and cared for.

This doesn’t mean I’m taking vacations 24/7 and neglecting his needs for mine. True self-care doesn’t come from a heart of selfishness or narcissism. What it means is that I’m taking time to set up a system that works for us both.  I’m staying aware and in tune with what I need as well.

Self-care involves me setting boundaries and taking a step back to replenish before I hit my limit.

By doing this my child receives the best of me that I can offer and I want the best for him.

It kind of stinks that some Mothers still must defend self-care for themselves, or fear judgment for it. It really stinks that we have to protect ourselves from our own judgment.

The well-meaning phrase “my kids always comes first” sends wildly mixed messages when it comes to self-care. While the intention is to shine a light on a mother’s intense devotion to her children, this always has a little undertone of “even if that means I’m running myself ragged and going insane.” There’s guilt in saying “I’m going to need a break from my kids.” You, however, better believe that when mom burns out the children feel the repercussions. A mother’s energy is threaded into her children and what you’re feeling impacts the children. While it’s noble in theory to keep trudging through, the children would benefit more if mom took a step back for a day and did something for herself.

It doesn’t have to be an escape to Costa Rica; it could be as simple as taking a walk around the park, a quick journal prompt, a morning stretch routine, or handing the kids off to Grandma and spending the day doing nothing but drinking coffee and listening to silence. You’ll probably spend some time missing the sound of busy toddlers but you’ll soon start settling into being in your own presence and relax. Self-care is really quite simple. Think of it as making a commitment to fall in love with yourself every single day. Treat yourself the way you would someone you love!

It’s truly a remarkable thing when we begin to tap into our needs and practice self-care.

The positive effects ripple outward and are undeniable.

Take note how you feel about your child’s energy level afterward if you’re more patient and tolerant. The best way to make sure you get the full benefits of self-care is to do it more often. If you find yourself thinking more about how you already miss the peace and quiet on a day when the kids are with a babysitter, that’s a signal that you need to find ways to integrate self-care more regularly into your everyday routine. Make it a priority as much as anything else, and you won’t regret it.

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Suggested Reading on Self-Care and wellness!
Mom Self Care and Wellness

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Laneic Lavalle

Laneic Lavalle is a self-care and wellness coach for busy mommas at Mynameisnotmommy and blogger at Makeit218. After spending her first year trying to be and do everything under the sun, she took a step back and started making self-care a priority. Her mission now is to help other mothers who are burned out, or well on their way there, to make self-care a regular part of their lives. Reconnecting with who they are separately of their children and pursuing their happiness without guilt. You can grab her free self-care foundations video series here or connect on social media.

3 replies
  1. K. Lee Banks
    K. Lee Banks says:

    So true and important for moms to remember. I’m now a grandmother, and I know my daughter – with three little ones under the age of 5 – struggles to find the balance between caring for them and her hubby – and her own “me” time.


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