Are you an insecure Mom?
The looming parent teacher conference with the principal drives you straight to the
panic room in your brain. The dancing emojis from your big sister’s text about your ten
month old nephew taking his first steps wrinkles your forehead like a crumpled shirt in
the laundry. The Wonder Twins mother third promotion in five years has you hotter than
fish grease at a church social. These are things that make a mom wonder what I am
doing wrong as a mother.
Insecurity is an annoying human emotion. Being an insecure Mom is the worst. Every
little thing you do (or don’t) leads to some unfathomable conclusion that you are failing
your family. Hiccups morph into monumental crises, minor flaws become Jurassic, and
self-esteem is shattered every time a problem or a new situation makes a guest
appearance. Insecurity left unchecked can lead you straight to the tequila or your
nearest cupcake shop.
How do know you’re an insecure Mom?
Okay Dr. Phil, we all feel uncertain from time to time, that doesn’t mean we’re insecure. Well that is true but if you’re still feeling anxious once the storm has passed, then you may have some self-doubt taking up valuable headspace. That energy should be reserved for planning your next family getaway, revamping your personal space, or launching your business. Take a look at these
examples and see if they fit you:
• You compare yourself to other mothers at school, work, etc., even to your own
• You wish your child(ren) were like someone’s child(ren)? (behavior, grades,
• You troll social media to compare your children to their cousins or classmates
• You shy away or demean other parents and kids because you feel you and yours
• You’ve given up being the best mom you can be because you think only certain
women are allowed to succeed
• You think your child’s talent to sing, write, or play the kazoo is worthless because
they don’t any tangible awards to show for it
If any of these apply, just say ouch. By the way, you’re not a mean girl; you are
insecure. Insecure is not a dirty word. Everyone, including the mighty Oprah falls short
sometimes. Doubt, lack of confidence, and fear visits everyone’s doorstep. What makes
insecurity offensive is first, no one likes to admit they’ve been there and second, there is
a payoff to remaining insecure.
Why Bonnie, whatever do you mean? I’m glad you asked. The payoff to remaining stuck in your insecurity is that you excuse yourself from doing the hard work to get yourself out of that black hole. Think about it. Which is easier have seconds of lemon meringue pie or saying no and talking a walk instead? A second slice is yours for the taking, but the walk requires changing your shoes, opening the door, leaving your house, walking at a reasonable pace to burn calories, sweating,
adding it your routine for better results. Work, work, work, work, work (Add Rhianna
Choosing to keep your arteries unclogged requires mindful effort, as facing your
insecurities starts with changing your mindset, opening your heart, leaving the past
behind, and walking away from things that don’t help you. You may sweat bullets at
first, but add a little faith to mix and it will get easier. In other words, if you’re insecure
and you know it, get some help.
Most employers offer EAP services with as many as 5 free sessions and most insurance companies will pay a part for your sessions. If spilling your guts to a stranger is not your bag, try talking to other moms who have been there and done that. Whatever you need to do to be the awesome mom you are, do it!
There is this great quote around the Internet that says something like someone else’s
house will be cleaner, kids will do better in school, husband will make more money, etc.
etc. but that shouldn’t stop you from doing your best. Our insecurities as women,
mothers, and people are never about the other person, but about how we feel or react
when the output doesn’t align with the input.
Here’s another great quote, life is 2 percent of what happens to us, but 98 percent on how we react. In case someone hasn’t told you today, the potential to be great a mom, have kids who do well in school, and the chutzpah to kill it at your job or business is already there, so stop playing the victim. You got this!
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