What I Finally Learned After I became a Mom…

I really loved poetry when I was in high school and always loved the poem “After A While”  by Veronica A. Shoffstall.   The words were so pretty to me and each year and each new phase of my life when I would read it, the meaning of the poem would change.  Of course, when I was in high school, I am sure it had to do with a boy and a breakup or a silly fight with a friend: the same with college.

As I moved into my thirties and became a more independent self-loving woman the poem really took on a new meaning and started to sink in.  I would often quote lines from the poem when giving advice to hurting friends or to myself when I needed a pep talk when something silly was bothering me. Fast forward ten years to now, me with 2 daughters in tow and let me tell you this poem has totally changed for me.  Could it be that I have changed?  Has God changed my heart? Let me break it down for you.

This poem used to be all about me, when my life was all about me.  Now when I read the words, it is all about my daughters and what I want to teach them.  I made mistakes growing up in relationships, in life,  everywhere; things I wish I could take back or do over.  Looking back I guess you can say God was just molding me into the person I was to become (And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28)  God will do great things in our life if we just trust him and I trust him to help us raise our daughters in this crazy world.

I trust him to help us teach them to hold their head up high and accept their defeats with their head held high because oh there will be sweet defeats.  It is my job to teach them that not everyone will love them or accept them but God always will. (We love because he first loved us. (2 John 4: 29.)  Sometimes they will have to plant their own gardens because there will not be anyone else around…but God will. (So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

I trust him to help us instill in them what true security is and it is not of this world but in Jesus Christ. It is not in contracts or presents or promises or security. Psalms 46.1 tells us “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.”   In our society, there is this thought process and I have already seen it begin in my daughters that you must be attached to someone or something to be “important.”  I must stay on top of this type of thinking so they don’t start to idolize things that are not “important.”  That is my job.

After a while, I did learn that I really was strong and I really did have worth and I want my daughters to learn that sooner than later.  I want them to really know that and feel that and never question that.  That worth again I truly believe comes from above.  I can teach them that  Genius 1:26-27 says we are made in His image, the very image of God and that  Psalm 139:13-16 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all the days of our lives were written in God’s book before we were ever born, confirming God’s prior knowledge and plan for our lives.  Doesn’t that sound beautiful?

Lastly, I know that I will have to be there when my children are heartbroken by this wicked world and my heart will break right alongside theirs.  I wish I could say it will only happen once but I know this will not be the case and I can’t be there all the time to shield them especially as they get older.  They will have the heartbreak of their plans falling down mid-flight and the heartbreak of goodbyes and probably ones I can’t even imagine.  My heart just breaks thinking about it but what I do know is that I have a good good father who loves us and them and who is preparing their sweet little hearts and mine for their journey through life and we are learning…  we are all learning.. and we will hold our heads up high with the grace of women, not the grief of children because of him and him alone. That is what I have learned so far, among other things, after I became a MOM.


Until next time, keep up the juggle!



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Elizabeth Hurt
Mom/ CEO of Household | momalwaysknows.com@gmail.com |

The MOM behind Mom Always Knows. Inspired by a long line of other Moms who also always knew. I don‘t know everything by any means but what I don’t know, I can find out, that’s for sure! I am a super Mom, just like you, juggling everything life throws this way. I love God first and foremost, am happily married and am raising 2 beautiful and headstrong little girls ages 4 and 5 who will often be the inspirations of my blog. I work full-time and dedicate myself to this site in the moments between housework, work, family time and life.

I am passionate about all of the topics you’ll find on my blog but most of all being a Mom and everything to do with MOM.

39 replies
  1. Tina
    Tina says:

    We keep learning as we move through stages in our lives. This reminds me of a conversation with my younger son early this morning. He shared with me a 3+ hr conversation on politics that he recently had with his older brother … recognizing that it was the first man-to-man conversation they’d ever had. They’re growing up!

  2. Rachel
    Rachel says:

    What a beautiful poem! As a mom I can relate! I have such a hard time thinking not everyone will love them. Good reminder that God always will.

  3. Christine
    Christine says:

    Beautiful! I love the part about planting your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring us flowers. Being a mother has completely changed my perspective as well, and I pray to be that strong woman of grace who can guide my children into becoming garden-planters themselves.

  4. Erin
    Erin says:

    I love this SO much “It is my job to teach them that not everyone will love them or accept them but God always will.” Amen to that! I was literally JUST talking to someone this morning about this very thing!

  5. Elizabeth O.
    Elizabeth O. says:

    Being a mother is challenging but it also comes with a lovely set of life lessons! I think these are all awesome. There’s so much more to learn as your child ages.

  6. Emily Lynn
    Emily Lynn says:

    Beautifully written & lovely poem! I definitely think I’ll be affected the same way when it comes to being a mom. Really takes a special person to be a mother. Thank you for sharing!

  7. Sarah-Louise Bailey
    Sarah-Louise Bailey says:

    Being a mom includes a new chapter in life. It was totally different from the life you once have when you are single, it was a total change. Your priority now is your family and not yourself anymore, but in spite of that don’t forget to still take care of yourself. A healthy and happy mom produces cheerful and satisfied children.

  8. Karina
    Karina says:

    This is beautiful. I’m a fan of that poem too! What perspective you’ve gained throughout the years from it. I too can relate to seeing the world completely different after becoming a mother – it blows my mind how much God loves me because I’m HIS child… and here I am now in a parent role and I understand God’s love for me in a whole new way. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Kimberly C.
    Kimberly C. says:

    Love this post and I think you can only understand this feeling if you are a mom yourself. My son is my best production ever!!!! There’s nothing like it and although we cannot always protect our babies as much as we want to, they will forever be our babies.

  10. Helen
    Helen says:

    Lovely post and no matter how old your children are you always feel all their pain with them and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it which makes you feel even worse.

  11. Natasha
    Natasha says:

    Such a lovely post to read! I really like Psalm 139, its one of my favourites. It’s very comforting to read when you feel down! xo


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