Tips for When Life Gets Rough After a New Baby Arrives
Big shot out to all you first- time, second-time, third-time etc Mom’s! I only have two kiddos and have my hands full for sure! My girls are 18 months apart and I definitely remember those early days having a newborn and toddler demanding all my attention. Today our featured post is about a family/Mom who is welcoming their third child into the mix and some of the challenges they are facing and learning to overcome! Days can be rough but remember, it is just for a short season! Jaileigh offers many tips that have worked well for her and her family. If you want more from her, make sure you check out her blog HERE!
When Life Gets Rough After a New Baby Arrives
By Jaileigh Speaks
First of all, I want to share a popular Bible verse that I have clung to recently and use it as a reminder that God has plans for me even though I fail Him daily:
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
As most of you know, we welcomed our third son to our family in December.
We have now been a family of five for three months now and enjoy every day of it!
BUT
It wasn’t always like that…
The first week we had our new baby home was full of meals being brought in, extra hands to help out with our other two children, and half days at grandma’s house. We were totally blessed by our friends and family!
Then, Joel had to go back to work, and there I was, now a mom of three little boys.
Our oldest son had been through a transition when we had our second son. Our second son had never been through the process of having a sibling join the family. Needless to say, it was most rough on him. He was now a middle child and didn’t understand why he wasn’t the baby anymore.
Thankfully, he has his older brother to play with and entertain, but he still feels left out sometimes.
I failed early on with my time management and true to my oldest’s wise words from a previous post, I “was spending more time with the baby than with him and his brother”. See that post here..
The very thing I had sworn to myself NOT to do, I was doing. I didn’t see it right away and beat myself up about now, but I was so focused on the new baby, I forgot to be mom to my other two babies.
I guess I kind of justified it by telling myself that this baby was quite possibly our last baby and I wanted to enjoy every moment about it.
Then something else occurred to me…
My husband.
My partner, my beloved, my friend. The one who stood by me through the whole pregnancy was now being neglected because I was being selfish with my time focusing on the baby. It sounds silly now, but babies have a funny way of driving a wedge between you and your husband; not intentionally, it just happens.
Just when you think you had everything figured out and feel great about where you are at as a family, then you start your daily routines again… except, now you have to get creative and accommodate a baby.
Praise the Lord, we have fallen into a routine.
Yes, it involves much multitasking, but it works for us.
It’s been a learning experience, but I am thankful that God has allowed me to become a mom of three. Yes, it’s challenging, yes it tries my patience, but it’s also expanded my capacity to love and extend grace.
I am still working on my time management and probably will be for an extended amount of time, but I would not change where I am in life at all.
2 Corinthians 4:15 (NIV)
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.”
So, what am I doing to make life not so rough these days?
I made a quick list:
I make sure to spend even amounts of time with both of my older boys. We play video games, read stories, go for short walks, anything that involves just them and me.
I allow them to help me when I really need it. They are always eager to help in any way they can.
For Joel and I, we still have our weekly date night. Sometimes we take baby with, other times, we don’t. We also try to put baby to bed and stay up talking and catching up.
I still call on my mom to help me out when I need to run some quick errands. It’s a lot easier to have her sit with the boys than having to take them with when I just need to run in to a few places quickly.
I make sure to have some “me time”. I don’t always get my Bible reading done each day, and I am trying to get better about that. I feel better when I can have some quiet time and refocus.
I take my multivitamins daily. This had helped increase my energy and I am not as irritable as I was while I was pregnant.
I also extend grace. I know I’m not perfect and neither are my kids or husband.
I multitask when doing home school with my older boys. This is mostly me nursing the baby while they work on school work sitting nearby o the couch or floor. This has helped a lot and we have been able to get caught up from taking six weeks off for my “maternity leave.”
That’s all for this round! I hope someone finds value from this post.
Just know that you are not alone in this journey and it will get better if you’re struggling after the arrival of a new baby.
Jaileigh is actually a nickname, my real name is Jaime. My husband helped me come up with my site name and it just kinda stuck 
.
My husband and I have been happily married for 9 years and are more in love today then we were then!
I am a Stay-at-Home-Mom to two very busy boys, and we have another baby on the way, due in January 2017!
I enjoy writing about marriage and family from a Christian perspective.
I am currently making the transition to blogging full time and am excited to see where this journey takes me!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. – Jeremiah 29:11(NIV)
New mom here and yes, life completely changes and it changes for the good! I believe in living each moment as it comes.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
What a great post. My cousin just had a baby, and I bet this would help her out a lot! Luckily she has her mom and her husband’s mom who are both willing to help her out as needed, and give her some time to herself! I’m definitely going to let her know to read this.
Alaina Bullock recently posted…Best of Box Elder County: Family Fun for Everyone
I have 3 kids, and it was an adjustment at first. It’s nice to see a post that talks about the struggles many parents face instead of acting like everything was easy from day one.
Missy recently posted…Make $100 to $500 a Month With These Smartphone Apps (So You Can Afford Healthy Food)
It is always a bit hard when the new ends and help diminishes and alone is a normal. I looked at it as my time to finally start the schedules I wanted to with baby
My kids are 7 years apart but it was still an adjustment when my daughter came along. In a sense it was like starting over. I had forgotten what it was like to have a baby that demanded all of your attention. My son and husband weren’t getting any attention from me and I felt horrible. I love everything you said!
I think most Moms go through this stage after having a baby. I am not sure if it can be associated to post-partum depression but it is really important that the partner or any of the family members is always supporting the Mom.
Claire Santiago recently posted…Albay crawl – historical sites and everything that’s MAGAYON
It will pass, and when you need to just let go of all the things you need to and enjoy the moment. It all passes by so fast! 🙂
Having help when a new baby comes (and accepting it) is so incredibly helpful. Thankfully we have my mother living with us (she has an apt in our basement) and she was a huge help with my older girls when my last daughter was born premature and I had a lot of back and forth to the hospital.
Aimee Geroux recently posted…Must Try Hacks And Tips For Camping With A Baby
Being a mother of 2, life has been a little rough. Time schedules are so hectic. But I see to it that I still can have time for my kids.
Go with the flow and not overthink things. Enjoy every moments even the ups and downs.
Change is always tough – new babies, adoption, new jobs, moving etc… It is important to be tolerant and understanding. Everyone handles change differently.
With a new baby comes a lot of change. My advice is to not plan much around the time that baby arrives.
That is so awesome that your mom is able to watch the boys for you. We moms need that me time to be able to be good moms.
tara pittman recently posted…The Ultimate Camping Chair